:o) Funny.

[wisewood]

Graham and Paul fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money,
altogether they had a staggering 50 pence.
Graham said 'Hang on I've an idea' - went into the butchers shop next door
and came out with one large Cumberland Sausage.

Paul- 'Are you crazy? Now we haven't got any money left at all'

Graham- 'Don't worry - just follow me' and went into the pub where he
immediately ordered two pints and two large Jack Daniels'

Paul- 'Now you have lost it - do you know how much trouble we will be in we
haven't got any money!!'

Graham- 'Don't' worry - I've got a plan - Cheers'

They had their drinks and Graham said 'OK, I will now stick the sausage
through my zip - you get on your knees and put it in your mouth' Said and
done - the landlord noticed it, went berserk and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk - all for
free.

At the 10th pub Paul said ' Mate - I don't think I can continue this any
longer - I am pissed and my knees are killing me'

Graham- 'How do you think I feel - I lost the sausage in the 3rd pub'

[Ptisshhh]

:roll:

[Chris LR]

very good.

Englishman, Scotmans and Irishman are beign chased by the police when they come accross a shed in the woods, the run inside to find thre sacks, as they hear the police approach they each jump inside one of the empty sacks.

The police enter the shed and take a look around, they search all over until they go into the corner where the three sacks lay side by side. They walk over to the first sack where the englishman is hiding and give it a gentle kick, the english man lets out a little meiowing noise. It's Ok said the copper it's only a cat. They move to the second sack where the Scots man is hiding and again give it a little kick, the Scots man lets out a little woof. It's ok says the copper again, it's only a dog. They approach the Irishman in the thrid sack, again they give it a gentle kick, the Irishman shouts out "Potatoes!"

[Matt Finary]

LMAO :lol:

Matt :)

[wisewood]

"Potatoes!"

lmfao!"!!

[Chris LR]

it's better in an irish accent (done properly)

[Mr_Moo]

Graham and Paul fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money,
altogether they had a staggering 50 pence.
Graham said 'Hang on I've an idea' - went into the butchers shop next door
and came out with one large Cumberland Sausage.

Paul- 'Are you crazy? Now we haven't got any money left at all'

Graham- 'Don't worry - just follow me' and went into the pub where he
immediately ordered two pints and two large Jack Daniels'

Paul- 'Now you have lost it - do you know how much trouble we will be in we
haven't got any money!!'

Graham- 'Don't' worry - I've got a plan - Cheers'

They had their drinks and Graham said 'OK, I will now stick the sausage
through my zip - you get on your knees and put it in your mouth' Said and
done - the landlord noticed it, went berserk and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk - all for
free.

At the 10th pub Paul said ' Mate - I don't think I can continue this any
longer - I am p**s and my knees are killing me'

Graham- 'How do you think I feel - I lost the sausage in the 3rd pub'

Dont u normally pay for ur drinks once you've had them served to u?

[Mr_Moo]

Graham and Paul fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money,
altogether they had a staggering 50 pence.
Graham said 'Hang on I've an idea' - went into the butchers shop next door
and came out with one large Cumberland Sausage.

Paul- 'Are you crazy? Now we haven't got any money left at all'

Graham- 'Don't worry - just follow me' and went into the pub where he
immediately ordered two pints and two large Jack Daniels'

Paul- 'Now you have lost it - do you know how much trouble we will be in we
haven't got any money!!'

Graham- 'Don't' worry - I've got a plan - Cheers'

They had their drinks and Graham said 'OK, I will now stick the sausage
through my zip - you get on your knees and put it in your mouth' Said and
done - the landlord noticed it, went berserk and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk - all for
free.

At the 10th pub Paul said ' Mate - I don't think I can continue this any
longer - I am p**s and my knees are killing me'

Graham- 'How do you think I feel - I lost the sausage in the 3rd pub'

Dont u normally pay for ur drinks once you've had them served to u?

Funny tho!

[Chris LR]

Do you normally suck sausages through a guys zip?

[Phil_G]

A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says:
"No way. I don't think you can pay for it."

The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you
something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risqu?"

"Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a
hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar. It runs to the end of the bar,
across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing
Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that
before. The hamster is truly good on the piano."

The guy downs his drink and asks for another.

"Money or another miracle else no drink." says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat and brings out a frog. He puts the frog on
the bar, and the frog begins to sing. He has a marvellous voice and great
pitch. A fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over and offers the guy ?300
for the frog. The guy agrees, takes the ?300, gives the stranger the frog
and runs out of
the bar.

The bartender shouts after him "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a
singing frog for ?300? It must have been worth millions. Are you mad?"

"No" says the guy, "the hamster's also a ventriloquist".


:)

Phil

[Matt Finary]

LMAO :lol:

Matt :)

[Chris LR]

LOL