View Full Version : chat up lines
pikey1986
02-10-08, 01:45 PM
whats the best and worst chat up lines anyone has heard?
show us where you piss from
Pistol Pete
02-10-08, 01:51 PM
Did it hurt?
when?
When you fell from heaven!!!
Welsh Dan
02-10-08, 01:58 PM
Ever had sex with a fat bloke?
No.
Do you want to?
Pistol Pete
02-10-08, 02:00 PM
I've lost my phone number, can i borrow yours?
Are you tired, because you have been running through my mind all night.
michael squeak
02-10-08, 02:01 PM
if you were a bogey i would pick you first
michael squeak
02-10-08, 02:02 PM
the names BOND ...... UNI BOND and im here to fill your crack
Shaun_O'Donnell
02-10-08, 02:02 PM
show us where you piss from
lol lol lol :thumb:
Ever had sex with a fat bloke?
No.
Do you want to?
lol
Southie
02-10-08, 02:10 PM
Are you a parking ticket
coz you got fine written all over you :)
Pistol Pete
02-10-08, 02:19 PM
When they made the alphabet they should have put you and i together.
do you fancy a drink?
yes !
go get one so i can dance with your mate
Your lucky, ive gone ugly first
Gospel truth - a friend of mine used to actually use this one, and Ive seen it work....
"You'd look sh it hot with me hangin out the back of you....."
lol some of these are terrible - I love it!
"Hi, would you shag me? No, ok can I shag you?"
"You're ugly, not much chance of pulling really, fancy a ****?"
[quote=Dod]
"Hi, would you shag me? No, ok can I shag you?"
lol
Southie
02-10-08, 02:42 PM
I know milk is good for the body but DAMN! how much have you been drinking?
its not a chat up line but if you fancy a little row with one or two
you can go
excuse me love you look like a star(and when they go me ) you go yeah a monster lol
or if theres two fat birds
you can go oi sugar (who me ) nah not you the other lump lol
My first chat up line has to be said as it is. "Hi, would you shag me?" Ask her if she would first as we're men and lazy so we want her to do the work, failing that the offer of the male to do the work might sway her "Ok, can I shag you?"
You look like an actress, Lassie.
You look like an actress, but then again, I am very drunk.
Take Cock?
craig green
02-10-08, 02:46 PM
Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past again?
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)Let's get you out of these wet clothes
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Are those real?
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
craig green
02-10-08, 02:47 PM
FFS BIGS! (google chat up lines by any chance)
Pistol Pete
02-10-08, 02:48 PM
lol i was just thinking the same thing!
nope copy from the last thread on here lol
i know your ugly but fancy a ****
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
lol Thats a classic.
Are you Jamaican? Because ur Jamaican me crazy!!
hope you know CPR because you take my breath away
craig green
02-10-08, 02:55 PM
nope copy from the last thread on here lol
So you still can't take the credit for em! lol
Or the more appropiate manor of chatting up a girl.
"Hi, *PUNCH IN THE FACE* wanna come back to mine?"
I'm an airline pilot... I'm hoping to land a virgin tonight
craig green
02-10-08, 03:00 PM
I just tell them they have great teeth, it usually works.
"No no, I swear, I'm not after sex, strip off and lay there and I'll proove it"
"Ok, I'll put it in a little and if you dont like it I'll take it out again, hows that?"
hi its you lucky night cos im santa claus and im here to empty my sack lol
So you still can't take the credit for em! lol
Yes because it was copied from my post :p
hc coupe
02-10-08, 03:14 PM
"If you were a car door,I'd slam you all night"
get some ice, and drop it on the floor in front of girl, stand on it. " Now ive broke the ice, can i buy you a drink?"
Similarly: "FAT PENGUIN... well that broke the ice..."
loggyboy
02-10-08, 03:26 PM
is your dad out of prison yet??
for stealing the stars and putting them in your eyes.
Is that your spaceship outside??
Because your our of this world
OOoo you smell nice...
Have you been sick?
In the words of Notorious Faceparty Perv, "Tony Likes Gay Sex",
T: "My wife'd like you."
Random Girl: "You're Married?"
T: "Yeah but she's dead now"
RG: "Oh, I bet you miss her"
T: "Not really, she's at home in bed"
RD: "WTF?"
T: "Yeah I like her to watch me have sex"
RD:................................
Pistol Pete
02-10-08, 04:00 PM
"No no, I swear, I'm not after sex, strip off and lay there and I'll proove it"
"Ok, I'll put it in a little and if you dont like it I'll take it out again, hows that?"
FPMSL lol :thumb:
Jim Mcrae
02-10-08, 04:05 PM
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
lol:thumb:
I may not be fred flinstone, but i'll still make your bed rock!
"Hi, I'm not the pushy type, but you and I are having sex tonight weather you're there or not."
Thats just sexist Hagger. Whats wrong with you?
oi sugar (who me ) nah not you the other lump lol
lollollollollol
paddy138
02-10-08, 04:30 PM
if you were my homework id do ya,
if you were a piece of would id nail ya
I just ask if they fancy having sex. Usually works.
/\ Yeah but how much does it cost?
I just ask if they fancy having sex. Usually works.
Dont even need to do that in plymouth, just make eye contact and your be taking them home lol
Depends how good she is, if she's rubbish I charge her lots, if she's good I charge her less.
I keep meaning to go on a night out in Plymouth. I'm not so sure I want to now lol
Come to Ireland and Pull a Gorgeous Sheep. The women'll just look at you like you have "SEX OFFENDER" across your forehead. lol
Maybe its just our chat up lines come to mention it. lol
Pistol Pete
02-10-08, 04:41 PM
/\ Yeah but how much does it cost?
Nothing, lol..
http://www.roche.com.tw/medicine/1_rohypnol.jpg
;)
lol its ok just ask if they been tested, never goes down well for some reason. but i can get you in with the plymouth calender girls probley the only classy girls in plymouth, and stunning aswell :)
large_steve182
02-10-08, 05:24 PM
got any scottish in ya?
no
want some?
lol its ok just ask if they been tested, never goes down well for some reason. but i can get you in with the plymouth calender girls probley the only classy girls in plymouth, and stunning aswell :)
PNG SW meet in plymouth then for a night out? lol
Any chance of a buck ta fu_ck?
Btw - not aimed at you razorjack, just putting it out there really. Soz x
PNG SW meet in plymouth then for a night out? lol
Yea why not, have a bbq before hand :thumb:
CoolTiger
02-10-08, 09:52 PM
can i smell your fanny
no
must be your feet then
Nice shoes, fancy a shag?
"Fancy sucking this while I get served"
I kid you not, a lad at work actually tried this!:)
She told him to get it out, then flicked the end of his tail!!!:):):)
Asa-James
02-10-08, 11:51 PM
lets play army, i'll lay on the floor and you can blow the sh1t outta me...
that dress looks nice on you. it'd look better on my bedroom floor...
Ahhh, I tried a few of these on my missus last night. She lol'd and I got no sex.
THEY DONT WORK LADS!!!
craig green
03-10-08, 10:21 AM
Hows about this one I thought up;
Can I be your next ex boyfriend?
craig green
03-10-08, 10:23 AM
PNG SW meet in plymouth then for a night out?
Great excuse for a pi$sup if I ever heard one.... :thumb:
She told him to get it out, then flicked the end of his tail!!!:):):)
PMSL tail lol lol lol
lol there's some crackers here
ive got something that will gurantee you have sex with me when we leave here, a knife
novalicous
03-10-08, 01:55 PM
Nice pair of legs, what time do they open? lol
out of 2, i'd give you 1.
Pistol Pete
03-10-08, 02:40 PM
Variation on the above, i'd give you one.... out of ten, lol
Excuse me, you've dropped something....... my jaw :roll:
Ever had a parrot on the left shoulder? Ever had a parrot on the right shoulder? (points at mouth) Bet you've had a cock or 2 in there though lol
There an airport nearby? must be my heart taking off then :roll:
:thumb:
Ahhh, I tried a few of these on my missus last night. She lol'd and I got no sex.
THEY DONT WORK LADS!!!
Odd that, when I tried them on her, they worked.......lol
Ah its ok, I just threatened her with Violence so its all good.
quote from new series "coming of age" on bbc3
Roses are red
Your very fat
Please invite me in
And i will lick your tw*t
lol
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