wisewood
09-10-02, 12:02 PM
Welcome to Rev. Wisewood's Wednesday School.
This week I will be teaching you about the history and correct method of igniting anal gas leakage (farts).
For as long as man has been around, he has had a problem with anal gas leakage (farting). This vile stench has plagued or species for generation after generation.
However, making this problem a little more light hearted one man, many years ago discovered that this leaking gas was actually flamable, so now in our times of safety matches and Zippo lighters the young male finds the urge to ignite his leaking anal gases too much to control.
This causes many of us a problem as there is a right way and a wrong way to do this... Many people find themselves in casualty with a badly scorched sphincter or worse!
By following these instructions we here at The Church of TUNA hope to make this a pleasurable and safe pass time for all.
Preperation is the key - although there is often little time to prepare as the key to the whole thing is being spontaneous. Firstly you must make sure you are not needing to pass feaceas in order ot ensure you do not end up with slippage marks within your under garments...
Next, once you are sure of this, quickly take note of your clothing. Are you wearing any man made fibres such as polyester? These can be highly flamable and could spell disaster. The ideal situation is for you to be wearing denim... this is very robust but is also "airy" enough to allow your gas leakage to pass through quickly.
Just as you feel you are about to "leak", lift your legs into the air in front of you, place a naked flame in front of your anus and as the gas leaks, this will ignite on the flame and cause much hilarity for all those priveledged enough to watch.
This week I will be teaching you about the history and correct method of igniting anal gas leakage (farts).
For as long as man has been around, he has had a problem with anal gas leakage (farting). This vile stench has plagued or species for generation after generation.
However, making this problem a little more light hearted one man, many years ago discovered that this leaking gas was actually flamable, so now in our times of safety matches and Zippo lighters the young male finds the urge to ignite his leaking anal gases too much to control.
This causes many of us a problem as there is a right way and a wrong way to do this... Many people find themselves in casualty with a badly scorched sphincter or worse!
By following these instructions we here at The Church of TUNA hope to make this a pleasurable and safe pass time for all.
Preperation is the key - although there is often little time to prepare as the key to the whole thing is being spontaneous. Firstly you must make sure you are not needing to pass feaceas in order ot ensure you do not end up with slippage marks within your under garments...
Next, once you are sure of this, quickly take note of your clothing. Are you wearing any man made fibres such as polyester? These can be highly flamable and could spell disaster. The ideal situation is for you to be wearing denim... this is very robust but is also "airy" enough to allow your gas leakage to pass through quickly.
Just as you feel you are about to "leak", lift your legs into the air in front of you, place a naked flame in front of your anus and as the gas leaks, this will ignite on the flame and cause much hilarity for all those priveledged enough to watch.