12 yr old boys.....advice please.

[Hoochie]

^^^ don't you think your son just misses his dad ?

That could be the cause of it all

Either way I'd try and get it sorted, I was a terrible teenager and looking back if problems were sorted/discussed at the time I probably would have acted different

If he's acting like you have said I wouldn't give him ANY cash as he will be spending it on drink and weed probably for escapism

Which will lead to harder drugs, been there, got in a right state, but managed to pull out of it

He probably does is a strange sort of way, he has not been in his life since he was 3 so has nothing to miss really, like i said though, his father simply can't be @rsed with him, he has been known to take time off to go to concerts, pub crawls, stag do's anything other than spend time with his kids.
As a mother there is only so much i can do, then i have to draw the line as to how much i allow this person to hurt my kids, Chris has done more in 2 yrs than his father has done all his life for him.

sorry, but the thought of someone with a headache in a bowling alley is making me laugh..........

Hangover is the word.............they both drink heavily friday- saturday whilst her son is at his grandparents.

[Tanya.]

He probably does is a strange sort of way, he has not been in his life since he was 3 so has nothing to miss really, like i said though, his father simply can't be @rsed with him, he has been known to take time off to go to concerts, pub crawls, stag do's anything other than spend time with his kids.
As a mother there is only so much i can do, then i have to draw the line as to how much i allow this person to hurt my kids, Chris has done more in 2 yrs than his father has done all his life for him.



Hangover is the word.............they both drink heavily friday- saturday whilst her son is at his grandparents.

Even though he wasn't in his life that long it's amazing what an impression can be left in that short time. I lived with my mum and dad until I was 5 and then for personal reasons I lived with my nan from 5-15. Even though I was still young and had only spent them few years with them and after everything that had happened I still missed my dad like crazy. I'm not quite sure why...but it was always there.
Is there anyway you can try appealing to your ex one last time and explain everything thats happening? Or maybe getting the grandparents to talk to him?

[Hoochie]

Even though he wasn't in his life that long it's amazing what an impression can be left in that short time. I lived with my mum and dad until I was 5 and then for personal reasons I lived with my nan from 5-15. Even though I was still young and had only spent them few years with them and after everything that had happened I still missed my dad like crazy. I'm not quite sure why...but it was always there.
Is there anyway you can try appealing to your ex one last time and explain everything thats happening? Or maybe getting the grandparents to talk to him?

No i can't do it any more times Tanya, he really is not interested, i just get sh!tty comments like " your kids, you deal with it" or " you wanted a divorce so don't expect any help from me, he is very un cooperative, i did send him to live with his dad a couple years ago as i simply couldn't cope, he was there 6 months, and spent a lot of the time on the phone to me telling me how he hated it, his dad was always asleep on the sofa drunk or hungover and wouldn't cook him anything to eat.
This was around the time he was getting married, they were taking Thomas and her son with them on honeymoon, but not Emily as she was not his responsibility, then child decided he hated it there getting no attention, not allowed to do anything and came home......guess what his father did? told him that he wasn't going on holiday with them because he wanted to come home to his mam.

I could sit here and tell you stories that would make your toes curl, but i'll not bore folk any more.

[Tanya.]

No i can't do it any more times Tanya, he really is not interested, i just get sh!tty comments like " your kids, you deal with it" or " you wanted a divorce so don't expect any help from me, he is very un cooperative, i did send him to live with his dad a couple years ago as i simply couldn't cope, he was there 6 months, and spent a lot of the time on the phone to me telling me how he hated it, his dad was always asleep on the sofa drunk or hungover and wouldn't cook him anything to eat.
This was around the time he was getting married, they were taking Thomas and her son with them on honeymoon, but not Emily as she was not his responsibility, then child decided he hated it there getting no attention, not allowed to do anything and came home......guess what his father did? told him that he wasn't going on holiday with them because he wanted to come home to his mam.

I could sit here and tell you stories that would make your toes curl, but i'll not bore folk any more.

I know how horrible it is, obviously not from a parents point of view but from a child whos been in a similiar situation.
I really do hope you manage to get things resolved soon, for his sake as well as yours. I know what a horrible downward spiral it can send you on.

[mayhem]

is his behaviour worse when he comes back from the grandparents?

my parents got devorced when i was 9 (my dad is an alcoholic) and every time we visited him, he filled oure heads with crap (youre mom's a whore/slut/wish she died/ praying for cancer etc etc).it even went so far that he told us to make up bad story's about mom to the child protection service, cause if we didnt, he'd take an overdose of pills and die, and if he died, it's oure fault (i was about 10/11 at the time)

offcourse his parents where on his side, and my sister and me used to be out of control when we got home from my dad/grandparents.

i havent had any contact with them since i was 12 (24 now) and if i see my dad, i will kick his head in.

[Hoochie]

@ Mayhem, his behaviour does change when he returns, but its not for those reasons, its mainly because he gets everything he wants, and they NEVER say no to him, silly stuff like fizzy pop and bags of E's that i do not allow at home, but they od on coke and haribo when they visit, it annoys me as it's me who has to peel him of the ceiling when he returns.