bizare nites out on the p*ss

[ward]

well im pretty bored so i thought id c wat everyone gets up to wen uve had too much drink.

wednesday just gone i was in me local to watch the ****nal game{even tho im chelsea** and its the first time ive had a drink in 3 weeks. me mate kept gettin the guiness in and to say d least i got pretty p*ssed.
a few of me football mates was there and asked us to go to anther pub as it was 1 of there mates birthday and there was a late nite drink.
so we went there but they wouldnt serve us so i said everyone bk to mine to have a few drinks{hopin that the goodlookin girls would come back** me mate dan pulled the bar girl in the pub and she come back with her mate. well i done a few shots and then ended up in bed with the bar girls mate.

well i woke up in the mornin to get a ibruprofen for the hangover to laughs out of me mate.and he the girl came stormin out of the room shoutin and sayin she was gonna hit me.wen they asked y,she said''hes f*k*n fallen asleep on me while we was havin sex!!
now not only have i messed up goin to me local but now my reputation is in tatters. as i have been tryin to pull some loacl girls in there wich kno these 2.

i kno someones gonna b laughin but hey i did

[draper]

can honestly say ive never fallen asleep while nailing a bird, top work fella !!

although strangely, my ex was s**t in bed and used to think about the jobs that needed doing on the nova !

[Lee]

I remember waking up one morning completely naked other than a small blanket, surrounded by For Sale signs, traffic cone beacons and an entire shrub which had been quite expertly removed, roots and all. Looking around there were two of my mates unconcious on the floor, and another 4 completely random semi - naked females, one of whom had to be in her mid 40's and was positioned in such a way that i know she fell asleep on the sofa with me!!! i decided to shut my eyes again hoping they would all go away, and when i eventually woke up again thay had gone, and so had the shrub!?

Me and my mates, to this day, still dont have a clue who the hell they were and what happened, and why the hell we had a shrubbery on the carpet!

Alcohol is bad!

[draper]

the other week i woke up an my granma's sofa, no top on, no belt and no keys, covered in grass

i went home to make sure my flat was still ok, found my shirt neatly folded on top of an old fridge with my belt curled up round it, my keys were hanging off a tree branch

i have stopped binge drinking now, for a while anyway !!!

[jbowman]

Aw man, thats made my day reading that

[Philsutton]

pmsl you loser, oen reason why i dont drink anymore

[Geth]

I've never fallen asleep but faking it cos I'm too drunk to finish the job has happened once or twice

[Stuart]

I've never fallen asleep but faking it cos I'm too drunk to finish the job has happened once or twice

ditto. been merry enough to bang some bird, but too merry to be bothered to finish things off..... luckily it makes the bird happy as she gets a nice long shag lmao

[Mike]

ive woken up in a random house in fook knows where at about 7 in the morning quite a few times??

I was calling all the taxi's firms a could remember and there were all like 'whats the name of the street your calling from?' and i was like 'dont fooking ask me! i only want a taxi!?

[draper]

^^ ha ha ha, done that before, ended up going thru this birds mail looking for an address, although her mum wasn't impressed and much explaining later i got breakfast !! it was fooking SCARY