God give me strength

[Hayley]

For those of you that don’t know me, I work in a police control room dispatching officers to jobs we get sent up to us from the 999 control room.

Anyway, the other day I had a “bomb” job sent to me for dispatch.. ooo exciting I thought. Until I read the details.
The caller stated that they had seen a suspicious item on a windowsill in a public toilet and thought it was a bomb.

It was an apple with a wire hanging out of it apparently.


Turns out, it was an apple and the "wire" was the stalk!!


Jeez, I don’t know how some people can function from day to day!!

It got me thinking, anyone else had dealings with absolutely ridiculously stupid people in their jobs?

[Spudly]

Some people make me wonder how they manage to dress themselves in a morning without strangling themselves with their underware

[MiniManDan118]

Just told my parents this story, which jogged mum's memory from the other day. I was out of the house, but a neighbour had called the police because there was a 'bullet' in the road. Shock horror!! The copper turned up and removed the offending nail from next to drain....

[chrisd1986]

Thats halirous, ive worked with a few brain dead people but I cant to that just goes to show that some people really do have the brains of a chocolate mouse

[dgbnova#1]

I'm a joiner/builder we are trained in the art of not laughing at DIY f@#k ups on a daily but been a few corkers from removing brick work below lintles and removing windows so **** end of house now sits on upvc wimdow onlyi to full electric circuit wired to upstairs lights that's sockets the lot ,,,,, to save on electric bill he told me wow realy that's new to me MUPPET

[Tanya.]

Oh dear. I work at a well known shoe fitters and regularly get asked to go out the back and make them a pair of shoes if we haven't got it in their size.

Some chinese kids made me giggle last month. They spent about an hour in the shop trying on loads of shoes. They come up to the desk and they'd each picked up 3 pairs each and a couple of handbags. They then happened to notice a pair of shoes were made in China. They assumed it meant china town in London. Explained that none of the stuff in the shop is actually made in England any more. The one that could speak the most English turned around and goes "you may not of realised but we are chinese, we are not English. If we wanted rubbish chinese shoes we wouldn't of come to England, we'd of stayed home"

They were absolutely disgusted as none of the shops they'd been in had stuff made in England

[Mike]

everyday unfortunatly

[wwmnw]

I drive for a living (deliver beer to pubs) and quite often see some dangerous and plain stupid driving, the daftest thing I can think of is people not realising how heavy the casks are and trying to pick them up/carry them because I can pick them up and carry them, even funnier when they try to carry them backwards into the cellar and nearly fall down, although I have to do this sometimes and it is risky.

[Keif]

Every day.

We have one chap who has been 20+ years in the job, however he still gets fitting vanes upside down. Thankfully it's my job to check his work and one of the names we have for him is "walking phase test" something will be wrong, just need to find it.

Good job it's not important it's only aeroplane engines.

Another name we have is "Askhole" I have this poster by my desk.

He wants to move jobs, however the four jobs he's tried to get, they've all turned him down as everyone know what he's like.
Plus if he gets told of issues he uses the race card. He's the most racist person I know!

[Spudly]

In which case Keif, he has to be black (apologies to any black members here, I AM NOT RACIST) but out of my Indian, Chinese, Korean and Turkish friends, i have only ever been branded as racist, once, by a black English guy, to say i was livid wouldnt even come close, i told him to his face, i dont hate you, i dont dislike you, well, i do, but only because of your attitude and certainly not because of your skin colour you horrible racist prat!!!