Stan, I've just read through the whole story and im deeply touched by this.
I can't even start to imagine what pain and trauma you have been through and is still going through to this day.
I can understand totally why you ended it with Rachael but I don't think that you should have went out with someone so soon after. I think you just need some close friends ?
I really do hope that you get back on track regards of your life mate and I really do hope that Rachael has if not all then has most of her life back too.
Kind regards,
Tony